Merry Christmas

I dont know who all reads this but to the two of you I know reads it I love you both with all my heart. I hope your christmas was as beautiful as you both are and meant as much to you as you mean to me.

I am praying for us all to have an amazing new year filled with prosperity , love and happiness


Yours always
Anna

Me singing again LOL

pictures of lilly

Happy Thanksgiving

I love yall and hope you have a wonderful day today

Love
anna

singing at the dirty shame

this is the second attempt at a video over at Big D's but its way to dark in there

Anna singing AT Last

we tried to video last night singing karaoke...

it was wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy to dark especially in the second bar and my little video camera couldnt handle it ... but here they are

Tommorrow is band day....

I guess we are starting at 2pm so we will see how it goes... say a prayer for me..
Hugs
anna

Ill be in palm bay tomorrow at the ball field...

johns in a softball tournament... if any of ya wanna hang out or something Ill be up that way...

Love
anna

Going to see...

sugarland tonight and Kellie Pickler...

you know that song I sing stay hannah its by sugarland...

cant wait should be fun.

Love
anna

My vote counts...

I voted did you?

Nov 9th.... The karaoke Finals I am singing with the band...

Audience voting may be in place so Im calling out the troops I would love to have you there!

I got a great song im singing!

Love Anna

The Party.....

Happy Halloween!

If your coming to the party see you tonite~

Love
Anna
Aphrodite!

A couple of pictures from a model shoot I did yesterday

Its gonna get spooky here tonightttttttttttt..........

We are all carving pumpkins and decorating for the halloween party Friday night... Its gonna be so much fun Cant wait to see everyones costumes!

Im gonna be taking lots of pictures of this one


Hope you all have a great night

Love
Anna

i got the job with mc connectors ...8)

i already booked my first event... i hope some come up earlier then the one i booked... we will see... but im happy i have something going on.

Thanks Hannah!

Love
anna

LAST NIGHTS SUNSET

a long night alone... a little typing out of my thoughts... trying to get perspective...

you know its amazing to me how time alone i mean really going into ones self and looking for the answers to your situation whatever it may be is so intense...But the solutions are not always the easiest to make your mind agree too..

to utter the words again "Its Over"... makes me sick literally ... like Im a quitter like I didnt put out enough effort Like i created a situation and doomed it with out really trying to make it better... and like I am never gonna find that whatever it is I am looking for...

Can I be happy alone I mean can I really just be happy living out the rest of my life all alone... it makes me so sad... not the its over the alone part... I feel like I have so much to offer and so much love to share with someone and yet I self destruct with every relationship....

Growing up I never saw myself as the old lady sitting alone with her cats on the porch... no kids, no family of her own... I just never pictured that.... Is that whats in store for me?

do I just need to accept that as my future and stop thinking about a life with someone else... Maybe its time for me to start having some adventures again... pack up my car and hit the open road and see something new...


Im not even angry anymore which is good becuase anger just makes me feel ugly inside.and looks ugly on me on the outside.. its not who i am in my heart and soul. Im not even really sad anymore... maybe a little bit of self pity is in play but even that is minimal...

I think my soul is just too old for the modern day relationship stuff... I should have been my age back when men were true and relationships lasted a lifetime... This whole I need every woman in my life and you can never be my number one thing just doesn't work for me...


Im tired of trying to figure out what I did wrong.. the truth is Im 41 years old Im set in my ways... i have a clear perspective of what it is I want in a relationship if I am to have one and I am not going to change.I shouldn't have to. I dont want to.
is that stupid or stubborn....


another thing im struggling with in my mind is ... 1 of 3 things are happening to me physically... 1 Im starting menopause for real(mood swings , crazy periods or non exsistant) 2 I'm pregnant(which I doubt but maybe)same symptoms or 3 the cancer i had in my 20's is back (the crazy almost non exsistant periods) ....... and I don't want to face any of these things alone...I am scared and with everything that has been happening its not been a priority to me

Im praying its #1 at least there are pills for that LOL. I havent been concentrating on these things and it is driving me a bit crazy too... i need to just go to the doctor and find out whats up but I know somethings not right.

god forbid I am pregnant at 41 holy shit... with a guy who cant even be respectful to me i mean I will be stuck with him for the rest of my life.I can barely take care of myself and my dogs how the hell can i raise a baby

or if the cancer is back I dont have the insurance for that and if its already here well insurance wouldnt cover it anyway so i would be screwed and have to just accept my fate and try to fit in all the cool things I ever wanted to do in my life...


Its insane... you think about your life when your young and you just see it a certain way... grow up , find a career , fall in love, get married, have babies, raise them , grow old and one day you fall asleep and dont wake up..

hopefully somewhere along the way you touch someones life, you make someone happy, you teach someone something, you make someones dream come true, you leave a mark in the world that even in smallness of the expanse of the universe it really touched someone... it meant something....so at your funeral someone can honestly say, this person will be missed in the big picture of things... or even the small one...


In the big picture of things Does it really matter if someone was an ass to you... I mean does it really matter that you cant change everyone's way of thinking or that not everyone will like you. Or think your cool and amazing... only one person really needs to think that about you... YOU..


my Post secret for today is ... I don't think I will ever figure this crazy world out... and Im tired from trying.


Maybe its time I just start living it and stop thinking so hard about it.



I love yall
Have a Beautiful day
Anna

A weekend alone!

Johns headed out to do some classes for color in cocoa for the weekend ... he is leaving today after he gets off work... so I can have some Anna time! I have a wedding today but I am gonna go have some fun in town tonight and maybe do some things I have been neglecting with all the stress of whats been going on here... Im not calling or having contact with him this weekend so I can make some decisions about what I want and what my next move is as far as our relationship is concerned... and my life is concerned.. I really hope i can come to some conclusions and be Anna again... so say a little prayer for me if you think of it.

Im looking forward to this time alone though I do know that!

I really need to get back on the anna track!

Hugs to you all have a beautiful day and weekend
Anna

This Rain is....

making me sleepy... :\zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Hows everyone doing today... I have to go find a notary to finish my application today... man you would think im trying to get a job with the government or something LOL...


well off i go another day of sorting pictures...

Have a beautiful day everyone
anna

ahhhhhhhh sunsets are so beautiful here

ok i got my application for that sample job

in and ready to go... lets see what happens there...


back to sorting pictures for the website...


and i have to get the pictures from that vow renewal ready to print... they called in their order last night...yeay

Sorting Pictures for the website

Ok I have spent two hours today sorting through pictures for the anna-art website.

whew I cannot believe how many images I have on this computer. its insane and I havent even started the back up discs... but once this part is over I can start going through the images in each folder and start sorting through those to get the best ones together...

yeay me LOL

Hope your all having a beautiful day
anna

I am in the finals

Well its official as of last night I am in the finals of the karaoke contest at the dirty shame saloon... I will be singing with the band... along with Samae, Larry and Harold... the 4 of us are the competition... Im just excited im gonna be singing with a band how cool is that~

we will have to get Marv a gas mask so yall can come see me LOL...


The Finals are NOV 9th, 2008


Im really excited cant wait to find out what song I will be singing.


Ok gotta scoot got a ton of cleaning to do today.

Love
anna

Party tonight!

wooohooo a party on the dock! and its nice and cool so we can light the bon fire .... cant wait to see all my friends... wish you were in town tony.

Hannah bannana your singing tonight LMAO...


See yas later gators!

Love Anna

The latest in the saga called my life LOL

Tuesday night :
I was calm enough to have a discussion with john... and him with me... We talked until 5 in the morning about all the things that had been going on and why ... we yelled some but nothing over the top.. it would go from intense to talking and back to intense like discussions of this nature do... Basically, he felt caged... like i was trying to control everything and he had that in his last relationship and absolutely doesn't want any part of it in this one or any other... I respect that... and I see where my part in that could have created those feelings.. hey I'm not ashamed to admit when Im at fault for things too. I told him how his actions were making me react negatively and that if he would just come to me and talk to me about these things we wouldn't have had to go to this point.. He told me he does love me and I have been a blessing to him in his life, I talked to him about how I don't feel he is on my side, he said I didn't hear everything when Im not around and that he doesn't sit around talking shit about me at all that he tells his friends how wonderful I have been to him and how much he loves me for the things I have done and been to him at this time in his life..

We apologized to each other and have a better understanding of where the other person is coming from now and what their goals are in the relationship. something we didnt know or understand before.

we have decided as a couple to give things a month and see if we can work through them together now that we both know where the other person stands in the relationship.if things improve and we will stay together .. if not he will move out and I will move on...

there was alot said and i dont feel like typing a 9 hour conversation out but that was the basics of what came out of the talk.

we do love each other and i would like for this to work like it was in the beginning and so would he we were really happy then with life and each other... so that's what we are going to try to get back if we can.


Wed: since we were up till 5 am talking and didn't go to sleep till 6 am john called in sick wed and we spent the day together... something we haven't done in a long time.. we had a great day no fighting no going backwards and no people interrupting us...


another thing he reminded me of is something tony you have been telling me for a while and I was working on but haven't really achieved .. i have to have my own life too... i need to still be able to go out on my own or with my friends and do my own thing.. I do need to do this... when hannah came down the other day it was a lot of fun having friend time with her and getting out without him...it doesnt mean i dont want to hang with him but it probably is better to have times when your not together but with other people...

so thats where things are right now... we will see what happens.

8)

Have a beautiful day
anna

Ok im way calmer today...

so no need to worry or fret about me... I am making my plans and figuring shit out... and Im smiling today so its all good... sorry for the drama yesterday, I was so pissed off i had to vent or i was gonna lose my mind... Thanks for being there for me yall... God I have amazing and wonderful friends! I love yall

xo
anna

OK I give up... Please excuse the cussing... was a little pissed when i wrote this.

I cant stand the fighting and bickering... I mean what the fuck!!! is it so hard to just get a long treat each other like your best friends and just get along... i mean why the hell would you treat a friend better then your lover... she is after all the one who is doing all the things that your "buddies" dont do

i would rather be alone till the end of time then have to go through another fucked up relationship ... i mean they start out so great we have fun get along laugh dance sing do all those romantic and beautiful things and then one day seemingly out of nowhere... everything changes.

I know its not a one sided issue. I play my part in the break down of things. not being able to accept everything that the man needs... but do I have to be disrespected in order for him to go the path he wants to go. am I supposed to just sit back and say please do walk all over me... please do everything you want to do with no regards for my feelings... just walk all over me im a happy little door mat for you... if i am supposed to do that Ill never be with someone completely becuase i say what i feel and Im not gonna let people abuse me in any way, physically mentally or emotionally... i dont deserve that and I wont tolerate it!

I know im not perfect... I get needy, I thrive on attention, Ill admit it.. I want to be the center of my mans world and maybe that is what a man cant stand... I just want the fairy tale ... like everyone else... but when im the center of his he also gets to be the center of mine... Im not saying i have to be with him 24/7 and he cant have a life... but why cant it be a life we share together... doing things that bring each other joy. Why cant it be us against the world instead of you against the world and me against the world. Why cant it be we are a team and enjoy life together... I just dont fucking get it!

I grew up in a family that did things together.and for each other .. my father never left mom sitting at home to go out till 5 am with his friends... My dad never let anyone including us disrespect my mom... they have been happily married for 37 years and although Im sure they went through their own personal issues... they never turned on each other. they never went against each other for the sake of proving a point... they never had other people come into their relationship and give advice especially people who had negative feelings towards either party... and god forbid someone hurt my moms feelings... my dad would have been on them like stink on shit! no joke! my dads like that though...

Im ready to just pack my shit and run away... start over and just fucking be able to relax again... I can tell you this though... the love bug, can kiss MY ASS!!

DAMN~ I never thought I would end up some bitter ass old woman all alone... what the fuck is wrong with me! I sure would like to know for real.... so i can fix that shit or get some kind of pill to make it go away... I hate this! I hate this so much i cant see straight... and it does absolutely no good to even try to talk or think or let it go or keep it going you just cant fucking win when its like this...


Ive read the books... be aloof, act as though nothing bothers you... have your own life, let it all roll off your back like you dont give a shit.... how can I with all the passion for life, living , loving, art , creativity... just bottle up my feelings and say they dont exsist... is that my problem I say to much how i feel and it just fucks things up.... yet when I was younger i was taught to let my emotions out not to bottle them up becuase it builds resentments and pushes you over the limits... I am so confused .... all the little games and rules... why cant we just be...be who we are say how we feel love how we love laugh how we laugh dream how we dream..why does everything have to be so hard?

Seriously.... Can someone give me some real input here becuase I honestly just dont fucking get it!

Ok todays the real day

im meeting the producers and managers at in tha cutt records this morning at 11 am... im headed out the door now so say a prayer for me that things go well... this could be a pretty big deal if things go the way they sound... or it could just be a fun day for me either way its all good...


Hope yall are having a beautiful day
Anna

LOL im going to lay down some tracks ...

at a recording studio today this lady is a talent manager and she wants me to come into the studio today and sing some stuff... should be fun for shits and giggles...she saw me the other night at the karaoke contest .... I will let yall know how it goes...

hugs
anna

I had a blast this afternoon Hannah

Thanks for coming out to hang with me today... it was a lot of fun having a girls day!

Love ya
anna


ps I got some kick ass lamps!

I just popped my scuba diving cherry! LOL

My neighbnor sean is a ceritfied scuba diver and he just took me out in the lake for a try to see if i liked it... it was soooooooooooo fun... i got a little nervous but i loved it! woohoo i gotta take that class now!

yeah~
Anna

3rd place so far

I have a 93.3 % on the karaoke competition right now and Im in 3rd place... woohooo... i know what to do to move up~ so im gonna rock it next week!

Booked a vow renewal

im shooting a small vow renewal saturday... this may be my photography launch here in st cloud finally getting some calls.. yeay!

saying goodbye to the place john and i met.

they closed the cozy cove this week,.... that was the little bar down the road from my house where i met john and we used to go do karaoke on friday nights...kinda bums me out... for us going up there it sorta turned into cheers lOL ya know we would walk in and everyone would yell out our names... and we would get hugs from everyone.... it was kinda cool..OH well.. life moves on. we always have the hideaway in the back yard.

abscence makes the heart grow fonder

Johns gone this weekend to a class .. so im at home chillin ... until tonight anyway I have a karaoke contest i entered and it starts tonight... wish me luck if i make it to the final rounds a band is gonna learn any song i want to sing "already have a abad ass one picked out" and the finals you sing with the band... the winner wins 250 bucks... not bad for having fun and chillin out with my friends. Now lets just see if I can make it through the preliminary part of the contest tonight...


Other then that nothing interesting to talk about... got a ton of projects going on at the moment .. just need to settle in and finish some!


Hugs to you all
Anna

Hair Styling Promo... for John

Eagles won opening day!!

Ice Cold Beer!

light from heaven

Morning visitor

Look who came to visit us this morning at the dock!

Foot ball season starts tommorow...

lol I have a football fanatic on my hands now LOL... thank god I have a camera and tons of projects to work on... who knows maybe ill check it out too... go eagles.... LMAO no really its gonna be fun i made a bunch of snacks for us to enjoy tomorrow and just chill out on the dock and watch the game... I think it will be fun.

Hey peeps...

Just wanted to stop in and say .... whats new.... LOL i have so much work to do today but im a little hung over we went out singing and hanging out last night and omg, it was so fun... we saw a bunch of people who hadnt been coming out much lately so it was a great time!

tony better get out your scuba gear man... i heard its raining an inch an hour there yikes!

hope everyone makes it through these storms ok... little nervous about ike... hope he scoots on past us! wishful thinking huh!


talk to yall soon
Anna

Hands and hearts...

a new family couple picture idea i have come up with is to use the hands to show love... I think this concept turned out well... and i am shooting another in a few minutes using a childs hands in the mix to show a family instead of a couple... Ill put it up when I am done...

Its a beautiful day out here

finally ts fay has left our area... good grief I am glad to see her go... what a pain in the ass that storm was.... now its clean up time... with two waves out in the atlantic Im just hoping we get a break from it all...

the jimmy is tagged insured and running , i need to have someone check the alterator wires to make sure they are hooked up properly... but other then that i am back on the road wooooooohoooooooo!

im going to get the card making materials today... and get some printing done and I picked up another photography family portrait sitting for next sunday woooooohoooo!


well ill come back later when i have some time and post more pictures..
Love yall
anna

softness of stone

pool side in Jersey

bridge to jersey

Hot Hot Hot!

Had an amazing trip to New jersy

John and I just got home from a wonderful visit to new jersey with his family.... we were originally going for his 25 year class reunion but we were having so much fun with his family we just passed on the reunion and chilled at his brothers house... which is amazing by the way!


3 days of great food, pool side and hottubbin drinks and laughing and oh of course we took a bazillion pictures... Ill put some up as soon as i can today I have to unpack and finish cleaning the house from john moving in plus prepare for the tropical storm headed our way.... so come back in a bit Ill try to put up at least a few pictures


Hugs


Hope your weekend was awesome
Anna

I quit party city today

I couldnt take the stress anymore... and even though i feel bad for letting jim down by quitting i had to do it...

Some new Portfolio work....

These are from the last couple of shoots I have done... family and couple pictures on.


adding my anna art flair to some ...

Birthday party for David this saturday

and you are invited too hannah and Marv... but you have to dress up in western wear its a western theme party and Jackie says we have to dress up LOL shes sooo funny~


Hope yall can make it out...

and OMG you have got to see "OUR" home it is sooooooooooo freaking beautiful I cant even describe it!

Love yall
Anna

call me if you can make it out this saturday evening... August the 9th

xo


did I tell you this house looks amazing i mean A MAZ ING~~~~

A Day Off...

time to get caught up on the chores.... and start cleaning out my closets... LOL OMG the garbage man is gonna hate me on Thursday LMAO..



So whats everyone up to today...

The doggies are getting a bath today too..

Johns in court this morning with his x shes trying to keep his daughter lilly away from him, say a prayer for him hes really stressing out over this and I really cant do anything for him except be there and be his friend right now and Pray for him to find peace about the situation.

I hope all of you have a beautiful day
anna

Good Morning Everyone....

Well its been a fun week, I know you missing me typing this stuff everyday but .. i just get pulled into all different directions lately and no time to really sit in front of the computer.

John and i had a great time last week. Went out for karaoke 3 nights last weekend... Then Saturday night and Sunday we just chilled out at the lake....

John Has been so cool about driving me to meet my ride the last couple of weeks for work... we have been working on getting the truck over to the shop but now johns breaks are messing up so I dont think we can tow my car with his truck yet.. we will have to get that fixed.

Big News on the Home front.... well I am getting a new roommate... 8)
John and I have decided to move in together. We spend all our time together anyway and we have plans to get married in due time so yeayyyyyy .... We are looking forward to this move and our future... Life is so wonderful when we are together and we both feel like we finally found our life partner. as soon as he gets moved in we will have a big house warming party and invite you all out!

The Job is getting better... i got a training session last week and it has really helped me to understand my job better... It also is making it alot easier to do my job... now if they get my check right this week and my extra money from last week is there everything will be grand... if not... Ill be looking for a new job on monday.
so say a little prayer for me.


Well Have a beautiful week everyone I know I will

Love
anna

So whats happening people...

I am working tonight but i get to enjoy a morning of quiet.... before i go to the madhouse called party city... the halloween stuff is rollin in every day and its filling up quickly we are going to have to start setting those planograms soon...ugh thats gonna be a chore!

this is an insanely busy week and my car not being here is not helpin any... thank god for Jackie and john right now or i would be screwed ... xo's to them. Hopefully wed I can get one of those vehicles running...

I have a little side job now burning karaoke cds for this karaoke guy hes paying me ten bucks a cd and its so easy becuase i already have most of the songs he wants ... i already burned like 10 for him to take to him on wed. night... gonna try to get another 10 or 20 going before then. cause god knows i need the money right now.


well gotta call jackie now ...

tony your old pictures look great ... im really happy for you that you got that done.

Hope your all having a wonderful day

Hugs
anna

The Beach party!