I cant stand the fighting and bickering... I mean what the fuck!!! is it so hard to just get a long treat each other like your best friends and just get along... i mean why the hell would you treat a friend better then your lover... she is after all the one who is doing all the things that your "buddies" dont do
i would rather be alone till the end of time then have to go through another fucked up relationship ... i mean they start out so great we have fun get along laugh dance sing do all those romantic and beautiful things and then one day seemingly out of nowhere... everything changes.
I know its not a one sided issue. I play my part in the break down of things. not being able to accept everything that the man needs... but do I have to be disrespected in order for him to go the path he wants to go. am I supposed to just sit back and say please do walk all over me... please do everything you want to do with no regards for my feelings... just walk all over me im a happy little door mat for you... if i am supposed to do that Ill never be with someone completely becuase i say what i feel and Im not gonna let people abuse me in any way, physically mentally or emotionally... i dont deserve that and I wont tolerate it!
I know im not perfect... I get needy, I thrive on attention, Ill admit it.. I want to be the center of my mans world and maybe that is what a man cant stand... I just want the fairy tale ... like everyone else... but when im the center of his he also gets to be the center of mine... Im not saying i have to be with him 24/7 and he cant have a life... but why cant it be a life we share together... doing things that bring each other joy. Why cant it be us against the world instead of you against the world and me against the world. Why cant it be we are a team and enjoy life together... I just dont fucking get it!
I grew up in a family that did things together.and for each other .. my father never left mom sitting at home to go out till 5 am with his friends... My dad never let anyone including us disrespect my mom... they have been happily married for 37 years and although Im sure they went through their own personal issues... they never turned on each other. they never went against each other for the sake of proving a point... they never had other people come into their relationship and give advice especially people who had negative feelings towards either party... and god forbid someone hurt my moms feelings... my dad would have been on them like stink on shit! no joke! my dads like that though...
Im ready to just pack my shit and run away... start over and just fucking be able to relax again... I can tell you this though... the love bug, can kiss MY ASS!!
DAMN~ I never thought I would end up some bitter ass old woman all alone... what the fuck is wrong with me! I sure would like to know for real.... so i can fix that shit or get some kind of pill to make it go away... I hate this! I hate this so much i cant see straight... and it does absolutely no good to even try to talk or think or let it go or keep it going you just cant fucking win when its like this...
Ive read the books... be aloof, act as though nothing bothers you... have your own life, let it all roll off your back like you dont give a shit.... how can I with all the passion for life, living , loving, art , creativity... just bottle up my feelings and say they dont exsist... is that my problem I say to much how i feel and it just fucks things up.... yet when I was younger i was taught to let my emotions out not to bottle them up becuase it builds resentments and pushes you over the limits... I am so confused .... all the little games and rules... why cant we just be...be who we are say how we feel love how we love laugh how we laugh dream how we dream..why does everything have to be so hard?
Seriously.... Can someone give me some real input here becuase I honestly just dont fucking get it!
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9 comments:
The REAL input is this, Anna:
1. You are far too intelligent and beautiful to allow yourself be disrespected in a relationship, and yes, you deserve to be the center of someone's world if you are in a committed relationship with them. Here are the rules:
RULES Number 1:
a) KNOW THYSELF!
b) TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE!
2. No, you should not have to compromise who you are to be with someone else if in doing so, it is making you miserable and you are not following Rules #1.
3. Nobody's perfect, but if you are in a committed relationship, people who have emotional maturity and integrity make every effort they can to work on those issues that bother them about the other individual. Here the tricks to know are: a) No one can FIX the other, and b) BOTH people have to be committed to doing the work it takes to grow the relationship because merely having one do all of it just don't work!
4. Thankfully, you had your family to show you how it was supposed to be done. Keep them as your inspiration and ideal because after 37 years of marriage, they were obviously doing SOMETHING right!
5.Don't run away, but do start your life anew, and only add people and things to it that will enhance you, your ideals and goals. Again, refer to Rules #1!
6.You're not a bitter old woman, you are just hurt right now, and with good reason. In a way, that is a GOOD sign because it means you still respect yourself enough to be outraged when someone steps on and disrespects the precious parts of your innermost being.
7. The books are just plain wrong if they are telling you to not to react to bad situations and to be someone OTHER than who you truly are. Again, refer to Rules #1!
Remember there are people who genuinely care about your life and will be there to see you through the rough spots, and we love you dearly, so don't do anything stupid that we will have to hunt you down and kick your ass for! : )
well disrespected i have been feeling...
emotional maturity... i think im gonna have to start looking in nursing homes to find someone like that LOL
lol if i run away it wont be far i promise... maybe its just time for anna to come to melboring and start anew...
I am hurt too that he wont see my point of view ... I have tried in every way to explain why i feel the way i do and nothing sinks in it always reverts back to me forcing him to choose between me and his friends... and that's not it... just stand the fuck up for me and don't discuss our personal shit with them... so they get one side of the story and form opinions without full knowledge... its not their business to fix us or tear us apart ... its ours... how hard is that to comprehend....
Today he says "we moved in too fast" well fucking duh dickwad... but your not saying that becuase it was a clear thought from your conscious mind... that was implant your cronies whispered in your ear... just like all of his original thoughts... they aren't his own... I just need to end this shit and move on with my life... its not going to get better its not something that he wants to work on ... its his way or my way and neither one of us are going to win... or give in...
ughhhhhhhhhhhh !
and anna doesnt hurt herself in any way other then heartache Im way stronger then that ... i havent even cried over this shit and i dont feel sad at all just pissed off....
its like dealing with a 3 year old with simple reasoning skills... its just a waste of time and energy...
I just need to get a plan , stick to it and make it happen.... ive done it before I can again....
thanks for the advice it was sound and reasonable/
I love yall tooooooooooooo!
love
anna
I'm sorry this relationship is not working out well for you and John, but as you know in order for it to work you both have to be willing participants in mending it, be able to see the other's perspective, and come to a mutual agreement about the boundaries of the relationship.
It's a shame he doesn't seem to be able to see that at this point in time, or understand just how much his actions are hurtful to you. If someone is truly committed to you they will put your feelings first because you are their one and only and no one else occupies that rank or position.
Life can certainly be called a game at times; however, it is not a contest between one's friends and one's lover, NOR SHOULD IT EVER BE!! The two serve different functions. Each person needs to have both in their life, but committed lovers should ALWAYS come first and be cherished above all. (... or why the hell bother with a relationship in the first place?)
I think you're right about making a plan and sticking to it. Your an intelligent, independent women who has been through worse in the past and you can do anything you set your mind to in the future! Press on!
If this thing with John is not going to work, trust that God or the Universe or whatever... has your best interests at heart and will introduce the right person into your life when the time is right, and let it go at that. No worries, no stress, just be Anna for awhile. Things ALWAYS work out for the best. You just have to trust that they will. : )
Oh and, Melboring is not as boring as St. Cloud or as I have dubbed it, St. Cow! ; )
We're in your corner!
This is some fucked up shit. I don't like that you are being mistreated over there.
I agree with Anna, let john have the fucking lease and just move to Melbourne... there are alot of educated men there in high tech fields who know how to treat you right anna, that is the place to be...
Much higher quality of Sausage and Peppaz then your gonna find in that fucking yahoo shitzville.
By the way, I need to come over there and grab my snake charmer in a few weeks... is that ok?
I'll second that. Tony's right!
yes of course tony.
What's a snake charmer?
Its my .410 shotgun I left there for Anna to protect herself...
O.
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